


A Different Talk

by JohnBurtonLee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Relationships, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24193216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnBurtonLee/pseuds/JohnBurtonLee
Summary: "Dad? How do you make someone love you?"
Relationships: Harry Potter & James Sirius Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley (background), Hermione Granger/Harry Potter (one-sided), Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley (background)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 52





	A Different Talk

"Dad? How do you make someone love you?"

"Just a minute." Harry went to the kitchen and grabbed a six pack of butterbeers and rejoined James out back, where he began casting just about every privacy charm known to Hermione, which was close enough to every charm known to man.

Wide eyed, James said "I didn't mean that in the illegal mind control way."

"I figured. I just didn't want your mother to overhear this talk." Harry handed his son one of the butterbeers.

"Er, what?"

"Some topics might come up that would remind her that there are some people she never got around to murdering messily."

"That doesn't actually make me feel less nervous."

"So it's simple. You get someone to love you by showing them you're worth loving. You support them when they need it, show that you care, and so on."

James frowned. "I don't think it works like that."

"Sure it does. Oh, there's some people who are too damaged for one reason or another to reciprocate, and it might take a long time for some others, but for ninety-eight percent of people that's all it is. Even your Uncle Percy loves me now."

James sighed and pressed his forehead against the butterbeer bottle. "I meant romantically."

"That's even simpler. You can't."

"That doesn't make any sense. You and mum are still…." James made a sweeping gesture with his free hand.

"Just to be clear, we're talking about getting a girl to fall in love with you and not just getting into her knickers, right?"

James blushed and turned away. "The love thing."

"Good, because I'm pants at the other part."

"I exist, dad."

"And you should thank your lucky stars that your mother is much better at that sort of thing than I am."

"Ew."

"Okay, you know that I'm a bit famous-"

James was unlucky enough to be taking a pull from his butterbeer when Harry said that and choked a bit.

"-so I know what it's like to be on both ends of trying to get someone to fall in love. There are no magic words, no video game style quests or anything like that to get someone to fall in love with you. You click or you don't. Sometimes it takes a while but you can't force it. In fact trying to force it usually makes things worse."

James wiped his face. "On both ends? I thought mum was in love with you since she was like six."

"I don't think I need to mention the mess with Cho again."

Cho Chang had come up during the Talk, and definitely stuck in James' head. It was hard to forget dating advice like "Don't date someone who's only interested because you were the last person to see their late boyfriend alive." He was sure it was good advice, if a bit specific.

"But for this discussion I should probably mention that I fell in love with your Aunt Hermione when I was thirteen."

James took a look at his butterbeer and pushed it away. "Is that why mum would want to murder someone?"

"Nah, your mum figured that out before I did. She came to terms with it years ago. The fact is Hermione has never seen me that way."

"But you're Harry Potter!"

"Okay, one, Hermione has known me since we were eleven, and I was a mess back then. Two, I remind her too much of her father for that to ever happen."

James furrowed his brow. "But everyone says that mum looks a lot like Grandma Lily."

"I didn't know your grandmother, not really. Also, your grandmother and grandfather were happily married by all accounts. That wasn't exactly the case for Hermione's parents."

"Oh."

"Maybe something could have started there if I had pretended to be someone I'm not, but Hermione knew me too well for that to really work, and even if it had, eventually I would have reverted to the real me and things would have blown up."

"Well that's depressing."

"Just be yourself. It may not help your love life in the short term-"

"Oi!"

"-but once you find someone, it'll last longer."

James reached over and took a pull from his butterbeer. Sighing, he said "So if she's not interested it's hopeless?"

"People change, especially at your age. I wasn't interested in your mum until she got over the fangirl thing."

"Are you still in love with Aunt Hermione?"

"I still love her, but honestly I don't know if I'm still in love with her. There are a lot of things I would do for her that I wouldn't do for anyone else, but we've also been through a lot together."

"Things you wouldn't do for mum or Uncle Ron?"

"Well, I trust Hermione's judgement a lot more than Ron's. If she told me that a man had to die, after I made sure it was really her and she wasn't mind controlled, I'd probably kill the man. Your mum and Ron… well, they can be a bit more irrationally murderous."

"This conversation has gone somewhere weird."

"And Hermione wouldn't joke about someone needing to die."

"Is this really a good example? I mean as your boss doesn't she have the authority to tell you that some needs to die?"

"Not without countersigned forms filled out in triplicate."

James sighed. "I was hoping for more advice than suck it up and move on with your life."

"Sorry, son, that's good advice for a lot of things."

"So what was the part of the conversation that would make mum go on a killing spree?"

"Being reminded about the girls who tried to make me fall in love with them. If you don't mind losing bits, bring up Romilda Vane around her."

James shuddered. "No thanks." He took another swig from his bottle. "So if that's your theory of falling in love, what's the point behind dating?"

"Because it's fun? Your mum and I still go on dates."

"No, I mean… I don't know what I mean. What your saying kind of makes sense, but if it's true then why do people in school…." James waved his hand to try to encompass all the weird games people seemed to play.

"Well. Some of them are probably looking for sex and not for love. I still have no idea how that works. And for the ones looking for actual love? I hate to break it to you, but a lot of the things people do at your age can be broken down to two reasons: not knowing what they want and lying to themselves about what's good for them. That goes double or triple for anything involving romance."

"That explains a lot more than I'm happy about. Like why Charity keeps going out with guys who are jackasses."

Harry winced at that.

"What?"

"Your aunt has a theory about the genetic advantages of girls dating jackasses." Given the use of the word genetic, that probably meant Aunt Hermione.

"Do I want to know?"

"Okay, so there's a kind of guy who will sleep with a girl, get her pregnant and never talk to her again. He'll do it over and over again. If a girl has a son that's the same way then her genes will spread widely, so there's actually an evolutionary advantage for sleeping with a player." 

"Dad, the answer was no. No, I didn't want to know." James sighed. "Why did you have to raise me to be a good guy?"

"Just make sure that you're really a good guy."

"What do you mean?"

"There's a kind of guy that tries to be a good friend when harboring feelings, but thinks the girl owes it to him to reciprocate his feelings. That's the kind of thing that can ruin friendships. Love isn't the kind of thing that's ever owed to anyone."

James mumbled something.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. How did you get over Aunt Hermione?"

"I thought I told you that I'm not sure that I did."

"Well, you fell in love with mum, right? And you're still friends with Aunt Hermione without things being weird."

"That's easy but probably not very helpful."

"Huh?"

"I had a genocidal madman after my life, which put things in perspective. Life is too short, and so on."

James stared at his butterbeer like it might hold the secrets of the universe. "Is it wrong that I feel jealous that your school years were filled with danger now?"

"Very. But from what I remember from being your age, it's understandable."

"And it doesn't bother you that Uncle Ron got the girl?"

"It probably would if I thought of your aunt as a prize or possession. You'll be a lot happier if you stop thinking that way. She's a person who I want to be happy. And she is. So am I. So's your mum."

"Are you sure about your definition of happiness? Wasn't Aunt Hermione chasing Uncle Ron with a cattle prod last week?"

"James, don't kink shame."

"Ew. Suddenly your story seems a lot less relatable."

"Relax. I was just messing with you… or was I? Dun dun dun." Harry punctuated that by acting as if he was playing an imaginary keyboard. 

"You know when people ask me what it's like being your son, I lie. I lie hard. Why? Because no one would believe me when I say you have ordinary lame dad humor."

"Speaking of dad humor, have you done anything particularly amusing while pining for this girl? Any anguished declarations of love?"

James decided that another butterbeer was in order just to delay answering. "Is that dad humor or just sadism?"

"It's not sadism. I don't enjoy your pain. Just your embarrassment."

"Thanks," James grunted. "That's really a distinction that makes me feel better."

His dad didn't push, but just stared at him in that way that reminded James that there was a reason that his dad was in charge of law enforcement.

"Fine. I might have walked into a few walls while staring."

Immediately Harry's face shifted from amused to apologetic. "I'm sorry."

"What happened to enjoying my suffering?"

"Well you obviously got your skills with girls from me, and I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone."

"Not even Voldemort?"

"Especially not Voldemort. I suspect that he went evil because he didn't get snogged enough. I'm sure a lot of deaths could have been avoided if he had just spent more time in broom closets."

"That… sounds like a weird policy."

His dad shrugged. "Ounce of prevention and all that." And this was coming from the expert on the dark lord.

There was silence as they drank from the butterbeers for a while before James suddenly asked "What about grandpa?" 

"Well obviously he has mad seduction skills if he was able to convince your grandma to even let him sleep in the same bed after six kids, much less have another one-"

"First, ew. Second, mad skills? Third, other grandpa. He chased after grandma, right?"

Harry winced. "Yeah, and everyone I talked to seems to agree that none of it helped. They didn't get together until he started acting like a halfway decent human being, and that included not pursuing your grandma."

"They got together because he gave up on her?"

"Yup."

"Love is hard."

"Yup."

"How did that even work?"

Harry shrugged. "Don't ask me. Hagrid was clear as mud telling the story and Minerva just got that look."

"The one where she looks like she's contemplating murder and wondering if Azkaban is really that bad now that you got rid of the dementors?"

"No… the one where she looks like she has a forty year old headache. Just what have you been doing in school?"

"Nothing that anyone can prove?"


End file.
